The Less Needed, The Better...

1. What is the effect on a community when an individual assumes they are more valuable than they are?
2. What is the effect on that individual?
3. What is the community's duty to that individual?

These are the questions I'm wondering about now (about 10 hours before this will be posted). Consider this parable:

From the Translator's Introduction of The Art of War by Sun Tzu (Thomas Cleary)

According to an old story, a lord of ancient China once asked his physician, a member of a family of healers, which of them was the most skilled in the art. The physician, whose reputation was such that his name became synonymous with medical science in China, replied, "My eldest brother sees the spirit of sickness and removes it before it takes shape, so his name does not get out of the house. My elder brother cures sickness when it is still extremely minute, so his name does not get out of the neighborhood. As for me, I puncture veins, prescribe potions and massage skin, so from time to time my name gets out and is heard among the lords."

This is not (necessarily) a doctor story!

A member of one of my communities (a course in self-expression and leadership that I take), decided to leave the group, citing excessive demands on her time by a myriad of philanthropic obligations.

I was surprised at the spectrum of my visceral responses. They ranged from, "...who cares?..." to guilt (for not being a possibility that would inspire her to stay) to offense (that she would consider her time more valuable than the rest of the group's).

Then, I remembered this story of the Chinese physician.

In the story, the honored physician recognizes that the less is needed, the better. The best use of knowledge and strategy makes conflict (a.k.a.: treatment, hard work, etc) unnecessary.

I am afraid that my colleague has denied herself the benefit of acquiring the technology to optimize her use of knowledge and strategy in her communities and we, one of her communities, are denied the vicarious experience of her learning to add to our personal experiences. I am that her completion of the course would have given her access to even greater effectiveness and more free-time, yet, apparently, she's not coming back.

As a member of the group, I share responsibility for not being a stand for her to fulfill her commitment and live into the possibility she created for herself and for us.

Just because I didn't achieve my intent of keeping the whole group intact, doesn't mean I will give up on the cause. I just need to get better. (the 10,000 hours Malcolm Gladwell talks about in Outliers).

You know that the greatest things don't need any one individual, they need an effective, cohesive community.

How should I have been to touch. move and inspire this person to stay with the group? Keep in mind, it's not about persuasion, it's not about attachment, it's about commitment...

Has it happened to you? What did you do? What will you do next time?

Do tell!!


MSS

A Perfect Example

Just as I'm thinking about it, I encounter a PERFECT EXAMPLE...

... You are not going to believe this. This is one of the most extraordinary occurrences I have ever experienced...

As is typical with an obliging universe, two conferences I wanted to attend were scheduled sequentially at the San Diego Convention Center. May 1 - 3 was the I Can Do It! Conference and May 4 - 6 was the American Association of Neurosurgeons (AANS) annual conference. I decided to commute via Amtrak from Fullerton.

On Tuesday, I caught the train in San Diego for Fullerton at about 6 PM and had a whole car essentially to myself. At the first stop (30 minutes into the 2 hour 10 minute trip) a friendly sounding group of men joined me in "my" car and claimed it for the "Trainiacs".

I couldn't resist, so I asked, "What's a Trainiac?" and I came to discover that Trainiacs are a Tribe of over 170 "familiar strangers" organized over the past couple of years, for the purpose of keeping each other apprised of delays, crowding, alternative routes, carpools, etc., including occasional picnics and other group events.

The very nice man, who was explaining all this to me, gave me his card which identified him as the "CTO" - Chief Trainiac Officer! This guy is positively brilliant at leading a Tribe. Seth Godin needs to include this example in the next printing of the book.

The CTO asked me if I was a regular commuter (No) and what kind of work I was in. I said what I always say, "I teach and mentor how to start & operate a profitable non-traditional business" and after a while I invited him to read this Blog.

He asked me for the URL and I said, "DrSchnitzer.com, D-r-S-c-h..." when he interrupted and said, "Mark?" I was stunned but imagine my surprise when he told me that I had operated on his wife many years ago and that we also had a common friend and ran into each other at a party some time ago! We just talked for the rest of the trip... (about 90 minutes).

The real point of the tale is the stellar example of leadership and tribe building demonstrated by this man.

He:

1. Demonstrates integrity,
2. Comes from a background of relatedness,
3. Invents possibilities that he then
4. Presents to people as opportunity
5. They choose freely and are satisfied with their choice

It was brilliant and perfect and, were it not for my keeping a notebook and having the intention to write, the story would have been lost to the dusty, unreliable attic of my memory vault.

It is comforting to pass this skill off as rare but I submit that the rest of us are just being "reasonable" (making up a reason to let ourselves off-the-hook).

Discovering or creating a background of relatedness, creating possibility, presenting opportunity and then allowing for authentic choice is simple (not always easy).

We just have to chose to be unreasonable and choose to recognize the power of the tribe. It is the access to power and enduring self-expression. Virtually every great thing arose out of a community that was organized by a group of like-minded leaders (consider The Susan Komen Foundation for the Cure and Nancy Brinker).

The attraction of a Tribe to change the world is my intention as a leader. I was very happily motivated by the example of the man who accomplished it out of selflessness and unreasonableness.

I will continue to do it, too. It makes for a bigger game and, sometimes, size does matter!

How about you?

MSS

P.S. Make certain to read yesterday's post and add a Haiku verse (or several) to the book project.